This blog summarizes your legal standing if you are in a civil relationship or married and contemplating divorce or separation. It describes:
- Where to begin
- Separation
- Divorce
- If you have kids
- Supporting your kids
- Money & property
- Making arrangements if you die
- Handling emergencies
- Divorce & family law terminology
This blog describes the application of the law in respect of married couples as also civil partners. All through the blog, we employ the term ‘partner’ to represent a civil partner, husband or a wife, and ‘married’ to denote either being in a civil relationship or married. However, in case of partners who are neither in a civil relationship nor married, this does not apply.
The law is principally the same for civil relationships as well as marriages, but where differences exist, we provide explanations. At times, it’s only the legal terms that are different. For instance, the corresponding term for divorce in the case of civil partners is formally known as ‘dissolution’, but all through the blog, we apply ‘divorce’ for civil partners as well as married couples.
The blogs in this series summarize your legal rights. However, they are not an absolute manual of the law and they are not expected to be a manual on how the law is applicable to any particular situation or to you. The blogs are updated on a regular basis, but the law might have been undergone changes since this was published, so it may have outdated or incorrect information.
If you have an issue, you can obtain additional information or personal guidance to determine the best possible way to resolve it.
You may feel extremely distressed and embittered as you go through this blog. Disintegration of family brings to light our worst sides. However, keep in mind that if you have decided to separate or divorce, there are benefits in striving to keep things civil and courteous between your partner and you.
- The legal proceedings in the first instance will be less expensive. It is of no use wasting money over a dispute, if there are other ways of coming to an understanding.
- If you have kids, an acrimonious fight will just cause them harm. Make an effort to give them priority.
- A fight also will be extremely detrimental to you. After the divorce order is given, you need to continue with your life. It’s more difficult to do so, if you are aware that you have conducted yourself dreadfully.
Where to begin
Do I require a solicitor to obtain a divorce?
It’s a fine idea to obtain some expert counsel from a solicitor once you begin to consider divorcing or separating, especially if there are financial matters to look into. The solicitor will let you know what your position is and assist you figure out your alternatives.
You may elect, after an initial meeting, to settle things yourself, but, at any rate, will do so after being appraised of your legal position.
How do I locate a good solicitor?
The Yellow Pages will have a list of solicitors, but you will require someone with a specialization in family law. Citizens Advice Bureaux and libraries can be valuable resources, as also people known to you who have visited a family solicitor.
‘Resolution’ - an association of expert family solicitors - can provide you with the names of family solicitors who are members from your area.
The Law Society’s Family Law Panel of solicitors, are all experienced professionals in family law having passed a special examination. The Law Society can furnish the names of all empanelled solicitors in your locality.
Can I settle my own divorce?
It’s possible for you to arrange a ‘do-it-yourself’ divorce, but you might require the assistance of a family solicitor in case:
- you have kids;
- you are married for over 5 years; or
- you possess assets that are a great deal more than only the family residence and car.
In case you choose to handle the divorce yourself, then you must get in touch with your neighbourhood County Court to obtain the counselling forms and blogs you will require. First call the court to find out if a divorce section exists. Its phone number can be found in the telephone directory under 'Courts'. You also can download the blogs and forms from the website of Court Service, Legal counsel cannot be provided by the staff of the County Court.
Can I avoid attending court?
You still require to attend the courts to obtain a divorce, although you do not always require being present at a hearing. In addition to getting a divorce, your partner and you should reach an agreement about the kids and finances. You can avail of mediation as an option to help couples come to an understanding about these.
A standard mediation service will provide your partner and you many rounds of discussions with one or perhaps two qualified mediators. In these sessions, you can discuss arrangements for the kids and finances, and determine whether you can arrive at any agreement. In case you do concur, the mediator will note down the agreement, and each of you can verify it with a family solicitor.
Legal aid may sometimes pay for mediation, but usually you need to pay. Nevertheless, it will perhaps be less expensive than asking a family solicitor to hammer out a settlement. Often mediation suggests your partner and you have a healthy relationship, which certainly can be useful for the future.
If you require additional mediation information, including how to locate local mediation services, read the Community Legal Service Express blog 'Family mediation: Managing relationship breakdown without appearing in court'.
Do I require a family solicitor in addition to a mediator?
Mediators are powerless to advice you regarding your legal standing, so you will most likely require a family solicitor to ensure that the agreement arrived at is good for you. Moreover, it is prudent to make any agreement you arrive at about financial issues into a court order. Mediation services don’t execute this for you, although a family solicitor can. It is because of this that most mediators will suggest that you also avail of a family solicitor.
What are the expenses involved in a divorce?
The divorce costs vary considerably, and are conditional on the difficulty of your case and how far your partner and you see eye to eye on things. The charges of almost all family solicitors depend on the amount of time they devote to your case. Always seek a cost estimate, and how much the family solicitor charges per hour, when you first visit a family solicitor, and be prepared for a change in this estimate as your case moves ahead.
Aside from paying your family solicitor’s fees, you will require to pay the court charges in case you’re the petitioner (i.e. the person asking for the divorce), except if you:
- receive a special exemption (i.e., the court can decide to waive your court fees, if it deems you cannot pay for them); or
- receive public financial support (‘legal aid’). There may be some other charges (family solicitors refer to them as ‘disbursements’) for things such as property valuations and, perhaps, barristers’ fees.
Can I recover costs from my partner?
If your partner and you concur or in case the court so orders, it’s possible for you to recover part of the costs from your partner. However, the court seldom will ask your partner to bear part of your expense, and you usually will not recover all your costs. When contemplating divorce proceedings, it’s prudent to plan for your legal expenses.
Can I obtain assistance with costs if I’m unable to pay for them?
If you meet all the requirements for it, you may receive public funding covering:
- the divorce proceedings (known as Legal Help); and
- the proceedings over children and financial issues (known as Approved Family Help & Legal Representation).
Also, for mediation you may receive public financial support. The Legal Services Commission blog ‘A Practical Guide to Community Legal Service Funding’ has additional information about the kinds of legal assistance you can receive.
Separation
What is needed for a legal separation?
Quite a few married couples do not go to the extent of a divorce, but are okay with staying apart. All you require to be separated legally is not to live together. You do not require any official legal document, though it can be useful to enter in a ‘deed of separation’, details of any agreement. Once you are living apart, you are classified as separated for state benefit and tax reasons. Officially, you can also be separated, but continue living under one roof, if you:
- set up your home so that you do not eat or sleep together any more; and
- you don’t perform for each other domestic chores like washing or ironing.
If you live apart for two or more years and both consent to a separation, this could be a good reason for a divorce in future.
The courts have merely restricted powers for making financial orders in respect of separated couples (partners who have not divorced as yet). This usually suggests that you must decide between yourselves about finances. If you intend to divorce before long, you may just need to take care of maintenance. If you suppose your separation will continue for some time, you should need to resolve who will retain the family residence and other properties. In respect of these arrangements you must take legal counsel.
Can we legalize the conditions of our separation?
You can note down in an official document any agreement you both have arrived at about kids, finances and property. This is wise, since you can draft it in such way that it becomes enforceable in case your partner goes back on their given word. You must take assistance from a family solicitor in order to do so. The document is known as a 'deed of separation'.
This deed of separation may encompass all the monetary arrangements between your partner and you. It can also take care of what you have decided about the kids, and any plans you may have of divorcing or not divorcing in the near future.
A divorce court is not bound by a deed of separation. If you divorce later, you may require making your agreement legally binding by way of a financial order that’s made as part of a divorce.
Is legal counsel required for a deed of separation?
Your partner and you should each have independent legal counsel before signing such an official agreement. You ought to have discussed with each other everything there is to be aware of regarding your own financial situations.
If you divorce following the drafting of a deed of separation, then you could consent to retain financial settlement terms in the separation deed. In case both or either of you desires the court to make additional financial orders, it possesses the authority to do so, even though you have a deed. However, if while drafting the deed both of you received proper guidance from family solicitors, and both of you were truthful about your financial situation, the courts would be disinclined to alter the initial arrangements. They might only consider doing so if circumstances have altered so much that it renders the deed terms unreasonable.
Is there any option to divorce?
The option is a 'judicial separation' (known as a 'separation order' in case of civil partners). Although this is rare nowadays, it could be an option in case both or either of you opposes divorce on moral grounds. Just like a divorce, it’s a court order, and the same procedure is followed. The court can give orders about kids and most financial affairs in judicial separation cases like in divorce cases. Just as in a divorce, no longer will you be legally bound to reside together.
The key difference is that following a judicial separation you can’t remarry. Also, you cannot get hold of an absolute financial order rejecting all claims against one another (a 'clean break') as a part of the judicial separation. A separation order or a judicial separation is not a method of obtaining a divorce - they are two different things, and it is not possible to change a separation order or judicial separation into a divorce. Seeking a divorce later will only lead to higher legal expenses.
What happens if we can’t settle on money issues when we separate?
The court may direct your partner to provide for maintenance and in case of child support you can seek the help of the Child Support Agency (go to page 8 'If you have kids'). However, if you do not divorce, you cannot get hold of a court order regarding who gets to keep the family home or other assets.
Divorce
How do we obtain a divorce?
You must be married for no less than a year before applying for a divorce to the court. In order to obtain the divorce you need to prove to the court that your marriage has 'irretrievably' broken down (i.e., that both or either of you believe that you cannot remain wedded to each other). To do this you may cite (use) 1 of the 5 'facts'. Married couples could cite any of the 5 facts, while civil partners can cite all excepting fact A.
I. Your spouse has perpetrated adultery and you think it impossible to co-exist with him/her.
Usually, if the husband or wife confesses to it, then adultery is established. If he/she does not oblige, you ought to get in touch with your family solicitor about the step to take. If you continue to live with your spouse for over 6 months after coming to know of the adultery, you’ll, in general, be unable to cite this as a ‘fact’.
II. Your partner’s behaviour has been such that you cannot practically expect to live together.
This encompasses all kinds of bad conduct including in case your partner develops an 'inappropriate' relationship with somebody, which makes you believe they have been disloyal to you. Persons in a civil relationship may cite this rather than fact A.
You have to deliberate over the key issues that have made it difficult to co-exist with your partner. The petition (a document that explains the basis for the divorce) has a summary of these in a few brief paragraphs. You cannot fall back on sole events that occurred over six months ago before filing your petition if you’ve lived together for over 6 months since that time.
III. Desertion by your partner for a period above 2 years.
Desertion implies to leave your partner for no valid reason and without their consent.
IV. For over 2 years you have lived apart and your partner agrees to give you a divorce.
This is frequently referred to as 'no-fault' divorce. Here you could have lived together occasionally so long as they don’t total up to over 6 months, and you ought to have been staying apart for a minimum of 2 years altogether. Your partner must give his/her written consent for you to cite this as a 'fact', and hence you should obtain this before the start of the proceedings, or else the divorce will fall through.
V. You’ve lived apart for over 5 years.
Your partner doesn’t have to consent to this. They have no defence against this petition, although they could request the court to disallow the final decree due to severe financial or other kind of adversity.
The most frequently cited are Facts A & B since with all the rest you must not have stayed together for over 2 years. If you desire filing a petition on the basis of your partner's conduct or adultery, it seems sensible to first talk this over with him/her. If you do so, you can ensure they cannot defend the petition, and this will provide savings in legal expenses.
Do I need to attend court?
In case the divorce is not defended (i.e., you both consent to it), then there is no requirement for any of you to attend court. The entire case can be taken care of on paper.
How much time will it take?
Almost all divorces take 6-8 months to come through, from the time the petition is filed to the time the court grants the 'final decree'. The time can fluctuate, based on how fast you and your spouse (or civil partner) handle the documentation, and whether you are aware where they are. Nonetheless, dealing with the finances can take a good deal more time than this. You could obtain your final divorce decree and can remarry, but still haven’t resolved a financial arrangement.
If you have kids
The terms 'access' and 'custody' are not employed legally or officially to explain which parent the kid or kids reside with and how frequently the other parent gets to see them. The appropriate ideas and terms are made clear in the following paragraphs.
What does ‘parental responsibility’ mean?
Parental responsibility is a legal term employed to explain all the duties and rights of parents towards their kids. For example, it presents you with the right to approve medical care for your kid, to select which faith to bring them up in, or even to decide the school they attend.
The mother holds parental responsibility when a baby is born. The father, too, shares parental responsibility, but only in case he is, at the time of the baby’s birth, married to the baby’s mother or (providing that the baby was born either on or after 1st December 2003) the birth certificate of the baby registers his name as the father. However, afterwards in the kid's life, the single natural (biological) father of the kid can obtain parental responsibility by:
- getting married to the kid’s mother; or
- drawing up together with the mother a Parental Responsibility Agreement; or
- doing a re-registration of the child’s birth (if nobody was registered, in the first instance, as the child’s father); or
- obtaining a court order.
In case you happen to be a step-parent since you married someone who holds parental responsibility for the kid, you too can obtain parental responsibility for the kid by:
- drawing up a Parental Responsibility Agreement with all concerned who already have parental responsibility; or
- obtaining a court order.
In case of adoption of a child, both parents obtain parental responsibility.
Besides, in case the court so orders, whichever 'suitable person' can hold parental responsibility.
In case of a divorce, you do not give up parental responsibility. You will continue to remain the kids’ full legal parent, regardless of whether the kids reside with you.
If we divorce, what arrangements can be done for our kids?
The court looks forward for both of you to decide where the kids will stay (residence) as also how you plan on visiting them (contact). If both of you can sort this out, a court order is not necessary. You may carry on making important decisions regarding the kids together, but both of you can decide things on your own in case it’s required – for instance, to approve of emergency medical attention. You can obtain a blog, 'Parents and Kids', to enable you plan your future arrangements.
Your family solicitor or the Department for Constitutional Affairs can provide you this and other useful blogs about kids (go to page 17 for 'Additional help').
What if we disagree?
If you both find it impossible to agree regarding with which parent the kid gets to stay (residence), or how frequently they should visit the absent parent (contact), in that case you must consider making a court application to get an order under Sec 8 of the Children Act 1989.
Prior to doing such a thing, it is worth considering whether you can avail of a mediation service in order to assist you arrive at an agreement (go to page 3 'Can I avoid attending court?' for additional mediation details). This is usually less expensive and less taxing for the entire family.
If you find mediation unsuitable (you can decide this with a mediator’s help), either of you could make an application to the court requesting it to make an order. You could do so irrespective of whether or not you’ve already initiated divorce proceedings. You need not ask a family solicitor to act on your behalf but it probably makes sense to obtain some legal counsel before you begin
The Court Service publishes two useful blogs on court proceedings and kids:
- ‘Kids and Divorce’; and
- ‘Kids and the Family Courts’.
The blogs can be accessed from the website of the Court Service (go to page 17 'Additional help' for info).
The court, generally with the assistance of an officer connected with CAFCASS (the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service), will try to ensure that your partner and you can arrive at an agreement. To learn more about CAFCASS, go to page 17 'Additional help'.
In case you don’t concur, the court makes an order. However, the court makes an order only in case the child is better off with it than without it, and the majority of cases involving kids are normally resolved by agreement rather early. This is usually better for all concerned, particularly children, and it definitely saves considerable legal expenses.
In case problems are generated by the contact arrangements, it may be useful to avail of a neutral meeting ground like the Child Contact Centre. Courts and solicitors will have particulars of your neighbourhood centre.
Go to page 17 ‘Additional help’ on how to get in touch with the National Association of Child Contact Centres.
What happens if we can’t settle on specific issues?
You can submit an application in respect of a 'specific issue order' in case you require the court to resolve a particular matter, like where your kid should attend school.
Moreover, the court can grant a 'prohibited steps order' to prevent one parent from carrying out something that’s disapproved by the other parent like changing the kid's surname.
Supporting your kids
The rules concerning child support as well as the Child Support Agency (CSA) were altered in March 2003. In case the previous rules were applied for doing your assessment, the CSA will in due course move you to the current system. The following information relates to the latest regulations.
The government has made an announcement that it will substitute the CSA for a new child maintenance system. However, there will be no change till 2008 end at the soonest.
How do I obtain maintenance for the kids who live with me?
Once you separate, how you obtain maintenance for your kids depends on your state of affairs.
If you receive a Jobseeker's Allowance or Income Support, you should generally avail of the CSA. In case you aren’t receiving Jobseeker's Allowance or Income Support, your partner and you can come to a decision about maintenance. This can be translated into a court order with the consent of you both, and if you also request the court to give orders concerning other financial issues. Otherwise, you can avail of the CSA in case it has jurisdiction (the power to act).
In case all of the below are applicable to you the CSA has the authority to act if:
- The kid is the kid (by adoption or birth) of both the parents. (This implies that under the CSA, step-children are not eligible for their step-parents’ support.)
- The parent with charge, the absent parent and the kid all usually reside in the United Kingdom. (This includes individuals who are living overseas but employed with UK firms.)
- The absent parent is not staying in the same house as the kid.
- The child is below sixteen, or over sixteen years and still in whole-time secondary education.
Already if you hold a court order concerning maintenance, the CSA can make an assessment providing that:
- the court ends the maintenance order (‘discharges the order’); or
- the parent having charge begins to apply for welfare benefits.
If the CSA has no jurisdiction what happens?
Where the CSA has no jurisdiction, for example, where the absent parent is overseas, or you require maintenance from a step-parent, you can approach the court. You also can obtain a court order:
- in respect of education fees;
- for the specific requirements of a disabled kid;
- for a ‘top-up’ order in case the maintenance ordered by the CSA reaches an upper limit – although this is primarily fixed rather high (go to ‘Is there a ceiling to what the absent parent must pay?’ opposite); or
- to change an existing order.
In case the father or mother of your child lives overseas, a maintenance order given by the courts here can be enforced in a number of ways. You will require the assistance of a family solicitor in order to do so.
How is CSA maintenance determined?
The pre-March 2003 rules had a complex formula employing both parents’ incomes. The recent rules are more clear-cut, and take the after-tax earnings of the absent parent as a basis.
Is there a ceiling to what the absent parent needs to pay?
Yes. An absent parent can deduct from their net earnings all pension contributions (excluding housing expenses) and an allowance in respect of any new kids or step-kids.
He/she will then give:
- 15% of the net amount for one kid;
- 20 % for two kids; or
- 25 % for 3 or more kids.
The child support amount given by the absent parent for the kids is based on how many nights the kids spend with the mother/father. In case the absent parent has other kids staying with them in his/her second family, then this will be considered when calculating child support.
The CSA can compute maintenance on the absent parent’s net income up to only £2000 a week. If they earn a higher income than this, you possibly may obtain a top-up court order.
How do I ask for maintenance?
In case you receive benefit, Jobcentre Plus personnel will usually assist you complete an application form. In case you do not get benefit but you wish to avail of the Child Support Agency, the CSA has application forms available (go to page 17 for 'Additional help'). After you have submitted the completed application form, the CSA then will mail another form to the other partner that they need to complete and submit within 4 weeks. The CSA subsequently makes a maintenance estimation and lets you both know how much it would be. If you receive Jobseeker's Allowance or Income Support, you can retain about £10 per week from your ex-partner’s maintenance payment before it impacts the benefit amount received by you.
What are my options if I don’t want to avail of the Child Support Agency?
Your partner and you can arrive at an agreement. You can decide on what you believe is a reasonable figure. Your family solicitor should be equipped to inform you the child support amount to be paid by the absent parent if you opted instead for the CSA. If both of you consent to a figure, and write out a maintenance agreement, you may request the court in the course of divorce proceedings to have this amount included as part of an approval order handling other financial matters. This would ensure that the amount is binding legally, and in case your partner skips payment, you could then have the order enforced.
What happens if we disagree?
You will require availing of the CSA and making an application through them. Neither you nor your partner will have any involvement in the amount of maintenance to be paid.
Money & property
The court possesses extensive and flexible powers for making orders in divorce cases. This blog can only provide general information since every family is not the same. You should definitely seek legal counsel regarding your state of affairs.
In divorce cases what sort of orders the court can make?
The court can give orders in respect of:
- your partner’s maintenance (regular payments);
- maintenance for your kids, but only in certain circumstances – go to page 11 'Supporting your children');
- for your partner a lump sum payment (and if necessary for the kids);
- a ‘transfer of property’ or ‘property adjustment’ order (like placing the family house in one parent’s name, or disposing it off); and
- providing your partner or you claim or share in the other's pension account. This may entail having at present a share of the pension fund in order that you get your own pension fund, or getting a payment out of the fund.
How can I obtain a court order?
Following the filing of divorce proceedings, either of you could have a form filed in court stating that you wish to submit a financial application. You both then must complete a lengthy form ('Form E') giving all your monetary details. You need to swap these with one another at the same time. Then the court will schedule an appointment to verify whether all the facts have been filed and then a court session will be held to find out if you can arrive at a settlement.
Forms and information handouts are obtainable from the website of the Court Service (go to page 17 'Additional help').
Do we require selling our home?
Not always. There are many different means of handling the home. For instance, you can:
- modify the shares that you both have in it;
- consent to delay disposing it off until some future point in time;
- determine how the money generated from selling it is to be divided; or
- resolve who will make the mortgage payments. If you find it impossible to resolve any of these matters, the judge will then make an order.
What is the process for determining the financial issues?
The court doesn't employ a formula to determine maintenance and other financial matters, but then it does consider several factors. These are:
- the earning capacity, property, income, and other financial assets both of you possess (or would probably possess);
- the requirements and financial obligations you both have (or would possibly have);
- the level of comfort you had as a family unit;
- your ages, mental or physical disabilities, and your marriage duration;
- the contributions made by both or likely to be made to the family welfare (which includes taking care of the home or seeing to the family);
- your conduct toward each other, in case the court believes it would be unreasonable to overlook it (though in reality behaviour is seldom considered);
- any benefits, like pensions, that owing to the divorce, you require to give up.
A maintenance order may be in force for a predetermined period or for the duration of both your lives, and is conditional that the partner it is made to remains single.
Once it’s made can an order be modified?
Your partner or you can make a court application to modify a maintenance order in case there is a change in your situation. Orders for transfers of property or lump sums cannot usually be changed once they are given. This encompasses orders given by agreement in addition to those resolved by the judge, and hence it is imperative to ensure that you have considered everything that might occur in the future prior to committing yourself to a settlement.
What must I do in case I discover that my partner is disposing of the property to prevent me acquiring it in the divorce proceedings?
Notify your family solicitor immediately, since you can make a court application for an order to prevent the sale, and moreover recover things if they already have been disposed off. You have to establish that it’s going to take place or has taken place and that it would impact a final financial arrangement.
To safeguard your interests, the court holds the power to freeze all the assets of your partner.
Making arrangements if you die
In case you are considering a divorce or a separation, you also must get in touch with your family solicitor about your desire to make or change your will. Your partner still remains your successor till the final divorce decree, and if you die intestate, they may stand to inherit from you. In case you have kids, then how to provide for them must be considered.
Do I require a guardian to look after my kids?
If you as also your partner hold parental responsibility (which normally is the case), and in case either of you expires, legally the other will have exclusive responsibility for the kids. Almost all parents would concur that this arrangement is the best. However, there may be motives why you wouldn’t like this to occur. For instance, your ex-partner may not be in contact with the children since long, or you might have had an argument about the children’s care arrangements. In such cases, you may think that you’d want someone else (including your ex-partner) to assume legal responsibility for your kids, and you can write these requirements in a simple initialled document or in your will. However, you must first discuss this with your family solicitor. The court, when resolving who will hold parental responsibility, need not accept what you’ve said you desire, but it would take into consideration your views.
Handling emergencies
What happens if my partner is aggressive towards me or the kids?
If you require it, first remove yourself (and the kids) from your spouse immediately. Then contact the police.
If you’ve been seriously injured, go to the local hospital or to your doctor. Explain what took place and tell them to make a record of the injuries suffered by you so that if you require it they can provide evidence about them. It may be useful to take photographs of injuries whilst they are fresh
Call a solicitor and make arrangements to meet him/her as quickly as possible in case you feel you require legal help.
Go to 'Additional help' for information of agencies that could assist you if you’re a victim or in danger of domestic violence. Also read the Community Legal Service Express blog 'Domestic Violence, Abuse and Harassment'.
How can the law protect me?
If a crime has been committed by your partner, the police may initiate action against him or her. Besides, the civil courts can make an injunction order to safeguard you by ordering your partner to refrain from causing any harm to you. It can, in addition, keep them from entering into or staying in the house. The level of safety the judge deems you require will determine the strength of a court order. Sometimes, just ensuring the police are involved or an injunction warning will be sufficient to bring your partner under control.
Can I receive assistance to fund this legal action?
Public funding (‘legal aid’) may be granted to you very swiftly to cover injunction proceedings costs if you require them. Your solicitor would be able to let you know whether you are eligible.
What if I worry about my partner taking away the children?
Inform your family solicitor at the beginning of the case. Then you can choose whether to request the courts to make orders regarding the kids or their passports. Moreover, you must deposit the kid's passports in a secure place, and inform the kid's school about your fears, so that the school can ensure the kids are not abducted.
The 'Reunite' organisation could provide information and assistance to parents who dread that their kids may be taken away (go to 'Additional help' regarding how to get in touch with Reunite).
What happens if my partner abducts the kids?
If you feel there a possibility of the kids being taken overseas, immediately inform the police. A 'port alert' can be issued by them to try to keep them from leaving. The police would require a complete description of the kids and your partner. Photographs would be helpful. Also inform your solicitor right away. Even if you believe they will not flee the country, inform your family solicitor, who can counsel you about obtaining an emergency court order for having the children returned.
In case the kids are taken abroad, the Child Abduction Unit might be equipped to help.
Divorce & family law terminology
Certain words and expressions have particular legal connotations in family (divorce) cases.
Adultery - Sexual intercourse while married, with a third party who is not a spouse.
Affidavit - A written statement holding evidence sworn to be factual.
Ancillary or financial relief – Property adjustment or financial order made by courts in divorce proceedings or judicial separation.
Conditional dissolution order – In case of civil partners, this is a corresponding term to a decree nisi, which denotes it’s the first dissolution decree, when the reasons for a dissolution have been established to the court’s satisfaction. A civil partnership does not end with this.
Co-respondent – The individual with whom the respondent in the case has committed adultery. This comes into effect only where the grounds for divorce is adultery, though co-respondents are not normally named.
Contact - For how long and when the kids will be in touch or see the absent parent (the parent with whom they are not living with). Contact may include overnight stays and visits (staying contact) and letters and phone calls (indirect contact).
Decree absolute - A final order of the court for dissolving the marriage. It is called a conditional dissolution order in case of civil partners.
Decree nisi – The foremost divorce decree for wedded couples when the reasons for seeking divorce have been established to the court’s satisfaction. It is known as a conditional dissolution order in case of civil partners.
Dissolution order - A decree absolute’s equivalent term for civil partners. Once this is made, the civil partnership ends.
Maintenance/child support – The money paid by one partner to another. It is expected to be paid on a regular basis to support the children or partner.
Periodical payments - Another term for maintenance.
Petition - A document containing the grounds for judicial separation or divorce and requesting its granting by the courts.
Petitioner - The individual who initiates the divorce case by filing a court petition.
Respondent - The person against whom a petition is filed.
Residence - Where and with which parent the children will reside after divorce.
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